Sunday, December 31, 2006

This year's five things

Today is the last day of the year. Since it is sort of traditional (if blogging can have traditions) to reflect on the year, I am going to do the same, but I thought I would put a little spin on it based on what some other bloggers I read have been doing lately. So here you go -- five things about 2006 that very few people know.

1. I spent about 6 weeks seriously contemplating moving back to Greensboro. I looked at teaching positions in Guilford County, searched apartment sites, and spent some time on the NCDOE website trying to figure out how I could transfer my license.

2. My CHD has improved exponentially this year. It is still definitely there, and I will probably deal with it for the rest of my life, but it is better, and continues to get better.

3. I never remember a time in my life when I really felt like I fit in, but this year I have felt even less like I fit. The irony of this is that I have really great friends, and I love them, but I have made different choices, and I am into different things, and I have felt the divide between us growing bigger. This year I have been very lonely.

4. I have become a lot more active in the fat acceptance movement, and as a result, I have gotten more feminist. It is not something I am specifically vocal about around most people, but some subtle things have changed -- the links on my blog, the words I use or don't use, the arguments I get into online or IRL.

5. I have very quietly given up on some dreams that have been a part if me for a long time. I have always secretly pitied the women who reached their thirties and still single. I thought that by the time I had reached my thirties I would be married, and whether or not that would be the best thing for me never really entered the equation. But here I am, and I am as single as ever. in fact, I am more single than most, since I don't even have any relationships to look back on. So I have given up on that dream. I have never been one to go out "looking" for a man anyway, but I have spent a long time wishing and hoping for one. But wishing and hoping take up a lot of time and energy, and that time and energy could be better spent. So I have let the dream go. It was hard at first, but it gets a little easier every day.

1 comment:

Holli said...

Wow, Erin. What a beautifully honest post. I haven't checked blogs in a few days, so I was getting caught up, Iove your house! It's what I picture when I think of VA starter home. Probably built in the 50's? I'm really happy for you!

Back to this post-I am so proud of you for your courage to put these things out there! This has been a lonely year for me to and that's something which is difficult to admit. But without having a job or family around, I do spend a lot of time alone. But I am proud to say that I am no longer afraid of being with myself-I know that I will be okay and that I don't need people, noise, business to be content. A hard lesson to learn! I'm excited to teach again, but I no longer define myself by that profession.

Well, I just wanted to say that I commend you for your ability to reflect so honestly on your life. Yeah for feminism! To me that word means "for women" which I think all women should be. It doesn't mean that we are better than "the other species" :) just unique and SPECIAL. Congratulations on your house and the offer being accepted!!!!!!!