Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Erin + Car = Badness

What exactly is it with me and cars? Hunh?

You've heard of a Star Destroyer? Well I, my friends, am the car destroyer. In fact, I am quite possibly the automotive Death Star.

First, there was Elmo. Elmo was a nice little red Nissan Sentra. Elmo was a lovely car when he wasn't leaking exhaust into the car or spewing water on any passengers in the backseat (Elmo had a bit of a bladder control issue). Elmo met an unfortunate demise on a memorable trip from Staunton, VA back home, a normally 2 hour drive that magically took 8 and ended up with me being towed home. In the course of the trip the car blew 2 cylinders and the water pump, the radiator cracked, and the engine melted. It was...interesting. Ask my friend John sometime about *ahem* relieving himself in my radiator.

Next was Henry. Henry was a white Honda Accord Hatchback. Henry was a great car...until the timing belt broke.

Score -- Erin:2 Cars:0

Then came the green Honda Civic that was without name until it's untimely death described in more detail in the earlier entry about Scrappy. It was tragic. The civic was by far the nicest car of the bunch, except the rear defroster didn't work, which was enough to make you swear on icy days.

Last is Fred. Fred is a Mazda 323. As I write this, Fred is parked in the yard of a very nice little old man about a mile from my house. I chose that yard because that is where Fred decided to die. Apparently Fred wanted me to get some exercise today -- I got to walk not once but twice, once to my doctor's appointment when he chose to die two blocks away, and once walking home from the nice little old man's house. Did I mention the heat index is 102 today? Fred got to visit the mechanic not once but twice this week, and so when he died, I decided it might be time to lay him to rest. He wins the speed record though -- it only took me 12 weeks to kill him.

I think there is a message in all this. Hidden deep in the subtext of all my experiences is a resounding echo....

"Move somewhere with public transportation...tion...tion...tion"

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