Today is the last day of the year. Since it is sort of traditional (if blogging can have traditions) to reflect on the year, I am going to do the same, but I thought I would put a little spin on it based on what some other bloggers I read have been doing lately. So here you go -- five things about 2006 that very few people know.
1. I spent about 6 weeks seriously contemplating moving back to Greensboro. I looked at teaching positions in Guilford County, searched apartment sites, and spent some time on the NCDOE website trying to figure out how I could transfer my license.
2. My CHD has improved exponentially this year. It is still definitely there, and I will probably deal with it for the rest of my life, but it is better, and continues to get better.
3. I never remember a time in my life when I really felt like I fit in, but this year I have felt even less like I fit. The irony of this is that I have really great friends, and I love them, but I have made different choices, and I am into different things, and I have felt the divide between us growing bigger. This year I have been very lonely.
4. I have become a lot more active in the fat acceptance movement, and as a result, I have gotten more feminist. It is not something I am specifically vocal about around most people, but some subtle things have changed -- the links on my blog, the words I use or don't use, the arguments I get into online or IRL.
5. I have very quietly given up on some dreams that have been a part if me for a long time. I have always secretly pitied the women who reached their thirties and still single. I thought that by the time I had reached my thirties I would be married, and whether or not that would be the best thing for me never really entered the equation. But here I am, and I am as single as ever. in fact, I am more single than most, since I don't even have any relationships to look back on. So I have given up on that dream. I have never been one to go out "looking" for a man anyway, but I have spent a long time wishing and hoping for one. But wishing and hoping take up a lot of time and energy, and that time and energy could be better spent. So I have let the dream go. It was hard at first, but it gets a little easier every day.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
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1 comment:
Wow, Erin. What a beautifully honest post. I haven't checked blogs in a few days, so I was getting caught up, Iove your house! It's what I picture when I think of VA starter home. Probably built in the 50's? I'm really happy for you!
Back to this post-I am so proud of you for your courage to put these things out there! This has been a lonely year for me to and that's something which is difficult to admit. But without having a job or family around, I do spend a lot of time alone. But I am proud to say that I am no longer afraid of being with myself-I know that I will be okay and that I don't need people, noise, business to be content. A hard lesson to learn! I'm excited to teach again, but I no longer define myself by that profession.
Well, I just wanted to say that I commend you for your ability to reflect so honestly on your life. Yeah for feminism! To me that word means "for women" which I think all women should be. It doesn't mean that we are better than "the other species" :) just unique and SPECIAL. Congratulations on your house and the offer being accepted!!!!!!!
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