You got questions...

...I got something vaguely resembling answers.

My lovely friend Kelly graciously agreed to interview me, so without further ado, here we go!

1. If you had to choose between a life with Seth Green and never singing again...what would you choose and why?

Nothing like an impossible question right up front.

I love Seth Green, utterly and completely. I love singing, utterly and completely.

Maybe if I post a picture it will help me decide.

Nope, not helping.

I choose Seth.

No, singing.

No, Seth.

I need more time. On to easier questions.

2. If money were no object, how would you outpost your house technology wise?

That's easy. New Macbook pro, wireless network, wireless speakers in every room and on the patio for the ipod, 25" flatscreen tv with sound that actually works (unlike the current TV), Tivo, Apple TV, and XM radio.

I also want a state-of-the-art greenhouse with temperature and humidity control, and a computer-controlled feeding and watering system, a robot to clean my house and cook my meals, and an indoor-outdoor pool. That's technology, right?

Probably an alarm system too -- you know, single woman living alone, yada yada yada.

3. If you were forced to leave the US...where would you live?

Greece. I don't really have much interest in travelling, but I have always wanted to go there. It sounds beautiful.

4. If you had to be in a play/musical/opera....what would it be? If you had to direct a play/musical/opera what would it be?

How do I choose just one? OK, I won't.

I desperately want to play Elphaba in Wicked, although I would settle for Galinda. I would love to do Little Shop of Horrors, but I am torn between wanting to be one of the chorus girls or playing Audrey. I would love to do Cinderella from Into the Woods, and Christine from The Phantom of the Opera. I am interested in You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, but only if I could be Sally Brown and sing My New Philosophy. Th Wizard of Oz would be a lot of fun, and I would love to play Tracy Turnblad in Hairspray. My all-time dream role is Rizzo in Grease, but I am rapidly approaching Too Old To Play Her. So sad.

There are lots of plays I would love to direct too. We are actually looking at doing Little Shop of Horrors next year, which I am super excited about. I am hoping to do Steel Magnolias at some point, and a Neil Simon comedy or two. I am trying to find a venue for Arthur Miller's retelling of An Enemy of the People. I have 18 scripts to read this summer, so the list is probably going to get a bit longer. Starlight Express would be a blast to do, but the thought of all those actors on roller skates is a little frightening.

5. What famous actress would play you in a movie about your life? Your parents and your sister and bro in law?

I think Melissa McCarthy would do a great job of playing me. We look a teeny bit alike, and she has been pretty successful in a field where women of size are normally rejected outright. I am one of her biggest fans.


For my parents, I seriously have no idea. Jeff Foxworthy for my dad maybe.

The stepfather would most certainly be played by Hulk Hogan.

Julian McMahon would play a great brother-in-law, and Hilary Duff looks a lot like my sister, plus she has the perky thing down, so I'll pick her for Lauren.


Now back to the hard question -- Seth or singing?



Seth.




No, singing. I'll settle for Jake Gyllenhal instead.

Now for the fun part -- if you would like your very own custom set of surreptitiously facetious questions, comment or email me and I will send them to you. Thanks for reading!