Before there is any confusion, I am still really excited and happy that we won at districts and that we are going to regionals. If we win at regionals and go to states I will be thrilled. But the excitement is unfortunately dimmed by the realities of winning -- things like planning for the next step, practical concerns that include some very difficult decisions, and losing the free time I had SO been looking forward to. But the biggest disappointments of all have been the reactions of the people who should, by all rights, be the most excited.
Bitterness is never pretty, and jealousy is even less so. There are a few people who, for whatever reason, were pretty invested in my failure. I think it would have somehow been validating to them to watch me fail. I have experienced my share of jealousy, and I have struggled myself with an inability to look past my own problems in order to be happy for someone else's good fortune. But it is truly sad to see adults who cannot at least be gracious about the success of others. Such is life, I suppose.